


Enigmatic

by Aves_Pruritus



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Discretion over indoctrination topic, Gen, Minor Violence, Paranoia among crew members, What's Shepard been up to?, some canon divergence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-01
Updated: 2016-04-01
Packaged: 2018-05-30 12:26:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6423985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aves_Pruritus/pseuds/Aves_Pruritus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard was acting more rigid and serious than usual. The Normandy crew get concerned until they finally confront the Commander.</p><p>They may or may not regret their discovery.</p><p>(One shot, during the Reaper War)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Enigmatic

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this straight off the bat.
> 
> EDIT: Fixed the whole thing. Shit, I hope it looks better now.

It began like any other apocalyptic day for them.

The Normandy-SR2 docked into the Citadel. They needed to replenish the ship's rations and ammunitions supply before heading off to an N7 job Admiral Hackett passed onto Shepard. Or rather, that's what John Shepard had told Kaidan.

The human Spectres talked—well, Kaidan tried for conversation, but his Commander was...oddly evasive—while heading towards the elevator of the docking bay. Shepard went up ahead, walking briskly as Kaidan attempted to catch up.

"Commander, wait up!" He jogged after the war hero, inwardly irritated that the other man couldn't even glance back at him to reply.

Before exiting the frigate, Kaidan, dressed in military casuals, went to ask Shepard for insight on a matter the Council, surprisingly, had passed unto the human biotic. A manner concerning Reaper tech, confiscated by C-Sec and under heavy guard.

But when Kaidan went to ask him, the Commander's reaction lacked interest. The words 'Reaper' usually bolstered a grunt from the man, but he just stuck to reading his datapad.

Worried, Kaidan had repeated the question. That time, Shepard only said: "Pass it over to my files, Major. I'll see to it... Personally."

Needless to say, Kaidan had not expected that. If it were Reaper tech, he'd thought Shepard would have it professionally looked at by the Crucible's scientists. Or, if deemed too dangerous, have it blown up for safety precautions.

Something was off. Which was why he had caught up with the Commander while entering the station.

They finally got to the elevator's doors. As Shepard pressed the buttons, Kaidan tried to open the conversation again. "Shepard, I'm not going to pass it onto you if you don't explain why."

As the elevator doors opened, the N7 Operative entered, halting Kaidan from joining him. The look his Commander gave him was almost blank.

"Don't question me and do as I say, Major Alenko." And with that dismissal, the doors closed.

Damn. He was never send off like that before. Like saying 'do it, or else'. But that wasn't Shepard's way. Well, unless you were an enemy. Otherwise, he'd usually elaborate.

Pursing his lips, the second Spectre waited for another elevator to come up.

It could be the eggs James cooked for them earlier, but the Major had a bad feeling in his gut.

* * *

 They were infront of the Spectre Terminal, monitors having access to information that would make a C-Sec detective drool.

Garrus would know. He'd have killed—well, maybe not back when he was a rooky—to have all that when he was hunting down Doctor Saelon.

But here he was, called up by non other than Spectre agent Alenko and Ambassador—he still couldn't believe it—Zorra up to the Embassies. Again, he was baffled that five years prior, Kaidan was still Shepard's understudy, Tali was just a kid on her pilgrimage, and he was a beaten down cop.

Now look at them. Studying clips sent to them by their Shadow Broker friend.

"I'm telling you guys, something's not right with the Commander." The human biotic exclaimed, scrolling and enlarging intel windows for them to see. Kaidan had even opened a live video footage of the Commander, dressed in a formal Navy uniform, walking up to a C-Sec clerk in the Presidium.

"Keelah," Tali began, "How did Liara get that? And how did you hook it up to the Spectre terminal without Shepard knowing?"

Garrus then snorted. "Figured she'd have us all tagged. Well, atleast we're aware." The turian advisor walked over behind Kaidan. "You sure he's not just stressed out over the war? Maybe he acted up out of seriousness?"

The human stared intently at the monitors, then turned to face him. "No. Shepard's no stranger to pressure, but he usually voices out his fruatrations." He leaned on one of the terminals, arms crossed and expression begrudging. "This morning, and prior to that, he'd been nothing but indifferent. Dammit, feels like he's on autopilot, and it bugs me."

He was about to say something about the Commander being distracted, but his mandibles closed shut. There was a point there. Yesterday, Shepard went to the battery to ask him about the Thannix cannon's stats. Garrus happily obliged, but then the man asked how a blast from the cannons could be evaded or deflected.

That was an odd question, even when the Commander went to clarify that it was to look for countermeasures during an attack. After that, he went out the battery without even a 'See you later, Garrus' or 'I should go'.

"True. He's been more... Rigid than usual this week." A three-fingered hand went to adjust his armor's cowl, a way to treat uneasiness for the turian.

Arms over each other, Tali spoke up. "There's...another thing."

Both men turned to look at her expectantly. When her helmet turned up to them, she sounded lost. "That other day, after that mission James and I joined him on, he didn't even talk to us straight. No 'good work, team' or even a nod. The entire shuttle ride back, Shepard eyed the cargo hold."

She paused before continuing, her voice suddenly small. "The one where Steve put that Reaper artifact."

Garrus was shocked. Flabbergasted, even. He diverted humorously, although his laugh was more nervous than he'd like. "Tali, you couldn't possibly suggesting..."

Kaidan shook his head, arms still crossed when he moved closer to Tali. "That's impossible. Sure, he's acting weird, but there's no way Shepard would—"

"T-That's not all." The quarian stammered out. "The next day, the admirals requested I look over Reaper intel the marines and Geth units acquired back on Vancouver. When I went up to the battle comm room, he pulled me over. He started asking me about the intel, said I either give it to him after or face consequences. I said I'd check and report back. He let me go and stomped away. His gripped..." She looked down at one of her arms, caressing it. "Damn, I think still have a bruise under my suit."

"He hurt you?" The turian resented. His mandibles flanged about disbelievingly. "Our Commander, the most benevolent sunovabitch in the galaxy, directly hurt and threatened you?"

When Tali didn't answer, his throat emitted a small but primal growl. Hell, that definitely wasn't right. It was downright fucked up.

Kaidan gave a hard look at that arm until his face lit up. "Wait, I'm getting a call." Omnitool opened, he read the name of the caller, face looking grim.

"It's Shepard." His eyes looked at the two of them before adding, "I'm going to snyc the call to your comms. That good?"

He nods as Tali was already opening her own omnitool. Garrus followed suit, hearing the static clear until they were all connected.

"Eyes on the terminal, too." He suggested. "See what he's doing during the call."

They all stared at the video footage, seeing Shepard being stopped by two turian C-Sec officers from entering the cargo hold. His hand was on his own comm.

Kaidan mouthed a 'ready', or it looked like a ready without his translator helping, before he answered the call.

"Commander Shepard?" The Major's voice lacked the weariness it had minutes ago. Garrus and Tali remained silent.

_"Major? Where's that damn Reaper intel access you were supposed to pass over to me?"_

He sounded grumpy. But not grumpy like he would after tons of paper. More on...menacing.

Alenko continued, "Getting to that, sir." They saw on the screen how rigid he was. The expression on his face looked like he was suspicious of his surroundings. "Are you sure you want me to—"

_"Get me that damn access now, Alenko! Or do you want me to ship your ass back to the Alliance?"_

Threats. Garrus's gizzard sat unpleasantly. Their Commander didn't even sound like he was pulling Kaidan's leg.

He heard Kaidan sigh, obviously sensing the same. He looked reluctant, but the Spectre typed away at the terminal. "Access code and intel are yours now, Shepard. Hope you use it well."

 _"What I do with this intel benefits the war effort and that's all you need to know, Major. Shepard out._ "

The commline died after that. Shit, that was the most 'get out of my face' dismissal he's heard from the human in years. That's definitely not like him. His eyes looked further at the video, Shepard being given clearance, then the man entering the hold but not without bumping into each guard's shoulder like they weren't worth his time.

"There are way too many red flags on this, guys," he declared to the other two, fidgeting and wanting to get out of the commroom to confront their superior officer and friend or he'd go crazy.

The Spectre with them went over to one of the footlockers near the shooting range. The second he opened one, Garrus went over and out a hand on his shoulders.

"Kaidan. What are you..."

"Precautions." Was all he replied until he came out empty-handed. "Fucking hell? Where's my Phalanx?" The man looked the footlocker over and under but found nothing. "Even my Vindicator?! The ammo and amps are gone, too!"

"Dammit, Kaidan! Why would you need a gun for?" Tali rushed over to pull him away from the lockers. "Look, Shepard may be acting less than friendly lately, but he's still out Commander!" She grabbed both of Kaidan's arms to look at him straight. "He's still our friend, Kaidan."

He was silent for awhile, fury begining to build when that there was were aimed at the Reapers and Cerberus. Garrus understood where Kaidan was going, even if it made him feel horrible at that aspect. Damn, he even felt like doing the same.

"Tali's right, Kaidan." He added gritty. "We need to look into this further. Or confront Shepard about it, atleast."

The man looked at them, hard pressed, then closed his eyes. Exhaling, he removed Tali's hands off his shoulders gently and went to the terminal.

Shepard wasn't in the feeds anymore, so Kaidan closed all of the windows, the terminal back to being idle.

Garrus' gaze followed the man as he stepped into the corridor towards the exit. The man's figure was tensed up, hands fisted, shoulders and back straight, wide strides.

"Kaidan?" Tali called over.

Halfway, the human stopped. They could barely hear it, but they got bits.

"After the coup, you'd think he was more trustworthy than ever. But this?" He motioned to the terminal behind them.

Inwardly, Garrus didn't know what to the his friend. He didn't want to believe any of the possibilities and explanations his mind concocted out of all this. But he knew what they were going to do about it.

"We should head back to the Normandy." A few steps over and he went ahead of Kaidan, prompting the automatic doors open. "Whatever's going on, we find out now and quick."

Both human and quarian followed him out, steps wide, but trying not too look too irhent amongst all the dignitaries.

"It's a stupid notion," Kaidan began, voice low enough to be barely heard. "Again, crazy. But if it turns out he is..."

"Relax," Tali said softly, sounding anything but. "There's no way someone Commander Shepard could be indoctrinated."

Garrus was glad the elevators closed before anyone could have heard that.

* * *

 

The airlock activated its decontamination process, spraying them with disinfectants and vaccuming the air clean afterwards. Their feet scurried out as soon as the door to the bridge opened.

At this time of the day, most of the Normandy crew, including that reporter they brought in, was on shore leave. The only people here were the doormen near the elevators and Specialist Traynor, who waved at them before looking back to her terminal.

Their scruff caused a surprised Joker to turn his seat towards them. "Hey, guys! You're all back early?" He asked comically, but Joker saw the urgency in their steps. "Oh. Is everything alright? Did Shepard yell at you, too?"

"So Shepard came back?", Kaidan asked. "He's been acting unsual lately. Where's he now, Joker?"

The flight lieutenant looked at them with narrowed eyes. "Yeah, I noticed that. Kept murmuring to himself. Couldn't hear a word and when I aksed, he told me to return to my duties. Then, he commanded— _commanded_ —EDI to follow him out the room." The man's capped head shook. "I think they went to the commroom."

The Spectre frowned deeply. Shepard's hiding something. Tali spoke up. "Was he holding anything while on-board?"

"Yeah, he was. Some kind of footlocker. Or a package—"

Before he could finish, the bridge's doors closed infront of them, separating the trio from pilot.

"What the heck?!" They heard Joker shout out. "Uh, guys? My control panel's gone dark. What's going on?"

"Shit, he's on to us!" Garrus cursed below his breath, opening his onmitool, already tampering the the lock. "Don't worry, Joker. We'll have you out in a minute."

Kaidan began to fidget, taking out the Predator pistol they grabbed on the way to the docking bay. He saw Tali begin to do the same, but then she went rigid.

Gut feeling bad, he called out. "Tali? Are you alri—"

Then, the quarian shrieked. Her suit sparked up until she dropped onto the floor.

"Don't worry. She's not dead. _Yet_."

He froze. Garrus stopped his hacking and both of them turned to the sound's direction.

"Ah! Commander, what are you—"

"Quiet, Specialist!"

What they saw was everything wrong in the galaxy. There was the Commander, the same as they saw him leave to the dock bay. Only now the man had a cybernetic plating attatched to his arm, what looked like a horrible mound of metal over one eye with a glowing yellow iris. The arm was wounded around Samantha's neck, the Phalanx pistol Kaidan had in his locker aimed at her temples.

"Shepard? What...How...WHY?!", he screamed out, arms shakily raising the Predator, aim unsure.

He looked on at his Commander, his friend, and tried to make sense of it. When that failed, he went back to anger. "How could you go this low, Commander? You let those evil artifacts get to you."

Shepard, once blue eyes now glowing yellow, smirked at him. "EDI, go secure the hostages."

"Affirmative, Commander." When she came out, EDI was holding his Vindicator, dragging someone with him. She moved forward until Kaidan saw her hands on the restrains of one James Vega.

"Let me go, you _bruja!_ Argh!" The Lieutenant struggled, but it seems the A.I.'s machinery was stronger than the design implied. Unwavering, the android threw James infront of her, aiming the rifle behind him.

"Mister Vega, please move ahead." It looked like James was about to insult her again when her other hand raised up, an omnitool interface charged up with what he recognized as an Overload. "Now."

Kaidan looked on, rage making him aim at the android, remembering the pain he felt when the unit smashed his face in back in Mars, but Shepard called out again. "Try anything funny. Go ahead. It's either these two, " he moved forward, going arounf the galaxy map towards them, "or maybe the flight lieutenant would like his cabin depressurized."

"You wouldn't dare!" Garrus threatened behind him. A quick glance saw him carrying Tali's unconscious body, an arm over his cowl. His subharmonics were everywhere. "You should have told us, Shepard! We could have helped you!"

"Wait, are you saying...?" Marching forward, James looked Kaidan in the eyes. "No. He can't possibly be indoctrinated!" His head turned back to the Reaper-planted Spectre with disbelieving hurt. "Loco, you bastard! We believed in you!"

The smirk fell off Shepard's face as he hauled Traynor with him, the woman struggling in his grip. The human biotic looked on helplessly as his friends were dumped unceremoniously infront of him.

"Listen now, team." The man's voiced boomed out. "I'm giving you until the count of ten to drop your weapons and put your hands behind your heads." The Phalanx now aimed at Kaidan's face. "Or else. One...."

Kaidan and Garrus glanced at each other. It was the turian, mandibls tightly shut amd growling, that put his own pistol on the floor, arms securing their friend incase the insane Spectre would shoot.

"Two.....Three....."

He hated this. Hated how he couldn't even use his biotics without possibly having one of his friends killed off by a rogue Spectre. What bothered him was that he gave in and took the order to give the man that access.

"Four.....Five.....Six....."

Kaidan's lost his respect for the man. His means of defense. And his friend.

"Seven....Eig—"

"How could you... This is a joke, right?" He answered harshly, pistol aiming simultaneously at Shepar and EDI before dropping. "You, the hero of the Citadel, savior of the galaxy, captain and friend to everyone on this ship... Indoctinated?!"

Kaidan dare not cry. He was so angry at himself and hurt. Why didn't he see it sooner?

Phalanx aimed between his eyes, the biotic stared down Shepard's glowing eyes. He stopped counting down.

The man, emotionless, tilted his head. "EDI. Tell him." He said cooly as the trigger slowly lowered.

EDI went over to Garrus, slamming the butt of the rifle on his head and dragging him with the other two. She spoke, voice losing its almost human tone. "This....all the Commander has done, is—"

Garrus flanged out, "Spirits damn you, Shepard, don't do this! Don't let them take over!"

Kaidan closed his eyes, prepared to take the shot when the trigger snapped down.

**_"FWOOOP!"_ **

That. That was not the sound of a gunshot. Nor was the mushy substance on his face a bullet wound.

Uncertain, the Major opened his eyes slowly. The barrel of the Phalanx was spewing out glitter dust and confetti, a small flag with the word 'BANG!' written on it. And passed the barrel, was the face of a very amused, very smiling John Shepard.

Laughter came from behind him. He, Garrus and the two other humans turned to look at Tali, who was obviously not inhibited, laughing in Garrus' arms.

Confused, he turned to EDI, eyes no glowing as her usual visor came back up, and said in her normal tone. "This, Major Alenko, is _one hundred percent_....a joke."

"April Fools, bosh'tets! Hahahahahahahaha!"

A headache similar to the ones his L2 implants usually caused made root into his head at all this.

"April....what?" Kaidan's emotions were a complete mess as his arm went limo and dropped his pistol in the floor. Suddenly, another person laughed. He turned to Traynor, who was helping a dumbfounded Vega out of the cuffs out on him.

"April Fools?" The soldier blurred out. "You jackasses almost gave my heart attack because of a prank?!"

"Sorry. When the Commander told me about it, it was so ludicrous, I _had_ to join in!" Traynor answered before her own merriment sounded off.

Tali was still laughing herself silly, so Garrus gently put her down and walked over to stand next to Kaidan as the stared at everyone in the room. Shepard began tearing off the Reaper implants that turned out to be fucking worbla, then dumping what looked like luminescent contact on the floor before he too began to laugh at them.

"Oh, hahaha, you guys fell for the old 'Shepard is indoctrinated' scam. Priceless." He laughed and wiped off some tears from his eyes.

"Hey! What's going in...here?" They turned to the cabin to see that Joker finaly got it opened, if it was even locked in the first place. "What's everyone laughing at?"

Garrus, anger and relief making unholy matrimony in his subharmonics, anwswered him. "Apparently, our illustrious Commander thought it's be nice to loop us all into thinking he was indoctrinated and had EDI turned against us. You know, for chuckles—"

Suddenly, Kaidan himself started laughing. So much, that it was hurting his gut and he doubled over. It was so loud in the CIC as he laughed at the Commander. At the situation. At the Phalanx that was more glitter gun. At himself because he thought he was going to die at the hands of his best friend.

_All for April Fools!_

"Uhh....Kaidan?" He heard Garrus worriedly ask, but all he did was head over to the still bawling Shepard and slap him on the back.

"Good one, Commander!" He yelled out merrily. "You sure had us fooled!"

"Yeah, haha. That was awesome." Shepard's laughter died down to giggles.

He barely heard the turian's nostrils flare up. "Oh, great. Now you broke Alenko."

Kaidan continued. "Man, that was great. From the fake intel, to stealing my guns, to the weird worbla parts." One hand patting Shepards back, the other infront of the Commander.

With glowing biotics.

"So, so, so funny, that _I'M GONNA FLAIL YOUR MIND, BASTARD!"_

 

* * *

 

There was yelling being heard, which was odd, since the Normandy's structure was so densed, Karin expected them to be soundproof. There was also...laughter?

"What's even going on up there?", she asked nobody in particular, hands around the mug of coffee from the brew Enlist Copeland made earlier.

Liara was sitting across her, the drone floating about and her hands on different data pads, but she could have sworn the tiniest of smiles graced her lilac lips.

Sitting next to her was Javik, playing around with the eggs James cooked that had cooled thirthy minutes ago. His fork swished to and fro on the plate, expression almost begrudging.

The medic eyed them both. "You two know something, don't you?"

To her surprise, the asari snorted. She dropped her datapads and chuckled. "Doctor Chakwas. Do you know what date it is?"

Karin looked on, confused. "Umm... Why...?"

Another surprise, it the Prothean who spoke up. "The Commander has wasted resources and time just to entertain his own sense of humor."

"That doesn't explain much.", she retaliated.

Liara, amused, shook her head. "Today is April first, Earth Time."

April 1st? Why would... And then it hit Karin.

Oh dear. She knew where this led for the Commander.

Pushing herself up, coffee in hand, she groaned out, "Not this hosh posh again. Last year, he somehow convinced Thane and Miranda to pretend they were in a fight. It was lunch time and, well..."

Tired eyes looked down at the two aliens. "Let's just say biotics and calamari don't mix."

In that second, Liara's chuckles turned to laughter. "Yes, I think I still have that vid log in my files. The crew had to clean out the mess hall for the entire day."

Javik, for all he was worth, grunted out, "Is the Commander always so pompous or is it only on this cursed human holiday?"

They heard the elevator open, along with the bawling sounds of one hysterical John Shepard. 

Karin sighed. "Just this holiday. I hope."

**Author's Note:**

> (Murmurmurmurhappyaprilfoolshahamurmur. 
> 
> Yes. I know. 
> 
> I'm a horrible person.)


End file.
